Actually, God's providence was at work long before we were even pregnant with Joy. Two years earlier, when Liam's due date was nearing, I also had to have an induction. I had planned and prepared or a natural birth and was terrified that being induced would end up leading to a C-section. Thankfully it didn't! Now two years later, I was so grateful for that experience and the feeling of confidence that I had that my body could handle an induction. So when Joy was born, although I didn't love the idea of labor being induced again, it actually worked out well so that both of our families, including my sister from South Carolina, could be present for her birth.
The hospital told us they would call us between 3am and 7am to come in. They called at 5:30am, which was perfect - we got a decent-ish night's sleep but got on the road early enough to miss rush hour traffic. Thankfully they were all ready for us at the hospital - I was grateful that we didn't have to spend time in the waiting room amongst all those excited soon-to-be moms. They even arranged for us to have an out-of-the-way room in the corner. It still took several hours to get things going, between paperwork to be filled out and decisions to be made. This was another point in which I was glad for the preparations I had made for Liam's birth. We had taken Bradley childbirth courses, and one thing they stressed was being assertive (in a kind way) about your wishes for your birth. I am not naturally an assertive person, but I definitely had ideas about how I wanted things to go with Joy's birth, and was glad that I had had some prior experience in expressing my preferences to the medical staff.
[This is a birth story. I tried to keep it rated G, but if you're squeamish, you might want to skip this part. Haha! It's interesting to me and to many others though, so I wanted to include it.]
Finally, at 9:20 am, the induction officially began! An hour later, the contractions were picking up. By 1:30 they were really close together, but not all that strong. I was able to get a mobile monitor for my contractions, so I was allowed out of bed. I walked laps and laps around the labor and delivery hallway. We had decided not to monitor Joy's heartbeat during labor - I didn't think that I could handle going through labor knowing that she wasn't alive any longer. Thankfully she was kind enough to move around periodically to let me know that she was still doing okay.
[I wondered if some people might think it's kind of odd to have pictures taken during this situation looking happy, but then I decided that I didn't care what other people think. So if you think it's weird, just don't tell me. I love pictures and love to document our life with pictures and am I'm glad I have these. Meanwhile, Eric was documenting his part of labor with pictures like these:
During this period after my water broke, Joy let out a huge string of powerful kicks - at least 10, if not more. They were so strong that you could literally see my stomach moving from across the room. I like to think of this as her grand finale and her fond farewell. (At that point, I wasn't even sure if she was still alive. She had either stopped moving as much or her movements were less noticeable with the pain of labor. The midwife had checked with the doppler to establish a time that she was alive for organ donation purposes, but Eric didn't think it was a good idea for me to know whether they had found a heartbeat or not. I was so relieved to know that she was still alive and kicking, literally!)
If you know Eric and his penchant for Diet Coke, you'll know how appropriate that picture is! It was a very serious and sad day, but I was grateful for moments of levity and for my silly husband to help get me through the physical and emotional pain!]
By 6pm, I was tired, hungry and only dilated to 4 cm. That's when I started to get really discouraged. The organ donation coordinator provided pizza in one of the lounges for our family and support team. They tried to keep it a secret from me, but I could smell it on their breath when they came back in (Eric claims I have a super-human sense of smell). Logically, I knew that they needed to eat, but I was pretty angry that I couldn't! So I ordered tray after tray of "delicious" clear fluids - chicken broth, gatorade, and italian ice (which was actually pretty tasty but not all that filling) and pressed on.
At that point, the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors who were overseeing my care suggested breaking my water to speed things up. I was very much not okay with this - research indicates that the bag of water really protects an anencephalic baby's head during contractions, so I politely but forcefully turned down that idea. I was again grateful for my Bradley classes that taught me that I don't have to go along with all the suggestions made to me and for a supportive midwife who agreed that breaking my water wasn't necessary at this point. Finally at 6:30 pm, the contractions starting picking up in intensity. I always joke that labor is the only time that people seem to be excited to see you in pain (hopefully it's the only time!). The Summer Olympics were happening while I was in labor, so I remember watching some long-distance race and wondering who was exerting more effort! I also distinctly remember watching Jeopardy - it was Middle School Jeopardy week and I was on a roll answering questions between contractions. Random, I know.
We chose to have a doula for Joy's birth, and she was so helpful in keeping me comfortable and encouraged. I maintain that I will never have another baby without a doula! She kept me company as we walked around the halls and bounced on the birth ball. Around 10 pm, I was completely exhausted and was ready to just give in and get the epidural so I could lay down and rest comfortably. I had really hoped to go without it so that I could move around freely during and after birth. Also, since I've never had anesthesia I was scared that I would have a bad reaction...and then there's the whole "needle in the spine" thing. But I was so tired and in so much pain! The Midwife checked me again and I was only at a 7. I told her and Eric that I thought I might want the epi, and she encouraged me to wait until 10:30. I'm so glad she did! I know that one of the common signs of transition (the end of labor before pushing) is feeling like you want to give up, but I wasn't optimistic that I was that close and couldn't allow myself to get my hopes up. But apparently I was that close - shortly after 10, I felt a little pop and a tiny gush. I was pretty sure it was my water breaking, but the nurse didn't think so. The next contraction proved me correct - all over the floor! I guess that nurse should have believed me and moved me to the bed. Ha! After a couple super painful contractions, I jumped to 9 cm!
During this period after my water broke, Joy let out a huge string of powerful kicks - at least 10, if not more. They were so strong that you could literally see my stomach moving from across the room. I like to think of this as her grand finale and her fond farewell. (At that point, I wasn't even sure if she was still alive. She had either stopped moving as much or her movements were less noticeable with the pain of labor. The midwife had checked with the doppler to establish a time that she was alive for organ donation purposes, but Eric didn't think it was a good idea for me to know whether they had found a heartbeat or not. I was so relieved to know that she was still alive and kicking, literally!)
I felt ready to push, and the midwife said I could. A couple of pushes later, the rest of my water was expelled with a painful explosion. I'll spare you the details, but after a few excruciatingly painful moments, Joy Marie Salesky was born at 10:50 pm (less than an hour after I was ready to give up!). The midwife placed her directly on my chest and into my arms, just like I wished. She was a tiny thing, weighing only 4 pounds, 2 ounces.
The neonatal team was on hand and immediately assessed her on my chest to see if she had a heartbeat, which she did. The biggest prayer of my heart had been answered!
Our medical team was amazing - as soon as Joy was born they toweled her off and cleaned me off and made me presentable so that our families could come in to meet Joy. They were waiting just outside and were all in the room within a few minutes of her birth.
Unfortunately, the force of being born was too much on her exposed brain and she never took a breath on her own. After just a few minutes (10-15), her heart stopped beating and she passed peacefully from this world to the next. I don't even know exactly when it happened, but I do know that she was being cradled by one of her family members as she passed. The saying is kind of trite but true - "all she knew was love," and really, what more can any parent wish for their child?
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